Count to Ten in Hebrew

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Realizing that it has been a little bit of time since my last entry, I will try to summarize as much as possible as quickly as possible. It had seemed that I had been studying Hebrew non-stop since I last wrote, but when I uploaded my pictures from my camera yesterday, I remembered that this month and a half has taken me on many small-scale adventures, non of which will help you if you are planning to tour Israel. I’ll attempt to share some aspects of my daily life and a few of these small-scale adventures while simultaneously teaching you to count down from ten in Modern Hebrew:

 עשר (Eser)

10 New Israeli Shekels buys me a croissant and cappuccino from one of Hebrew University’s many coffee stands. Not bad. Thus explains my breakfast for three or four days out of the week. For some reason, in Hebrew, a “cappuccino” is called a “reversed coffee.” Will one of my barista friends please explain this logic?!?

 

תשע (Tshaw)

9 roommates have cycled through my apartment this summer: Theo, Justine, Mike, Pam, Helen, Josh, Alma, Yitz, Eric. You just never, ever know with university housing in a foreign country.  Eek, is someone knocking?

 

שמונה (Smoneh)

8 centimeters stacked of whipped cream atop the iced coffee from Max Brenner’s.  I have been there twice now with a new friend from church, Rachel. She prefaced the experience with, “If you ask for whipped cream, you have to pay, but you get what you pay for.” Laura Moore, every time I think of this, I think of you.

 

שבע (Sheva)

7 (and a half) weeks of intensive Modern Hebrew study is wearing me out. This coming Sunday actually begins week seven, and there are three more days of class after that. That’s 200 classroom hours of Hebrew. Thankfully, my teachers are terrific, and I am sure with their elementary speech, their persistent hand gestures, and their dry erase board drawings that they could communicate effectively with a deaf and blind chicken.

 

שש (Shesh)

6 trips to the Visa office finally resulted in my long-awaited Student Visa!  If you, friend, need an Israeli Visa, I have connections in the Ministry of Interior, and that, will save you at least five trips.

 

חמש (kHamesh)

“5 Prices for the internet” is the excuse I am offering for writing nothing in the last month and a half. After the national internet company shut my internet down the first day of August, Jamil and I made an arrangement on August 3. Two hours later I received an urgent call, “Jenny, I need another credit card.” Mastercard appeared to be giving up on the company a little more quickly than I. When I told Jamil that I had no other credit card, he wanted my bankcard. At which point I wouldn’t budge—the company had already mishandled my credit card with scores of false charges, and bankcards are not so tough. Instead of giving Jamil another piece of plastic, I canceled. When new roommates arrived, I told them of the situation, and that I would be there for moral support if they attempted to face Bezeq in an effort to bring the World Wide Web back to the apartment. Josh spent most of August on the phone with Jamil and tens of others in the company as each part of the bureaucracy offered him a new price or a “special deal” just for him.  In the end, Josh, too, canceled after never receiving a successful internet connection. The long-running joke in our apartment has become, “I will make the 'construction,' and you will be surfing the internet by tomorrow, okay Mister Josh?” Jamil said this on day 1, and Josh believed him. By the end of August, we all bought portable modems that connect through a cell phone network, realizing we could no longer afford to buy cheap.

 

ארבע (Arbaw)

4 days in suspense at the beginning of August left me dreaming of endless scenarios of what I would do with my remaining two months in Israel. Before the intensive Hebrew classes began (known as “Ulpan”), I emailed the school after noticing that I had not yet been charged for these classes. It was then I was told that I was not even registered. This proved at least a little nerve racking. If I wasn’t learning Hebrew at the university, what else could I be doing with two more months in Israel? I was put on the “waiting list.” I waited for an answer from the administration each day and met just about every person in the Hebrew department as I watched first hand how bureaucracy in the Land operates. I think I will just call it “relational” more than “systematic.” Like my visits to the Ministry of Interior, I learned that constant pressure, persistence, and building relationships with the “Who’s who” is more effective than following the guidelines when trying to achieve an end here.

 

שלוש (Shalosh)

3 person steak dinner: that’s what I split with Yitz and Alma at the only Argentine steakhouse in Jerusalem. I met up with my roommates for what I expected would be a cheap night out while we met one of Josh’s friends for dinner.  The first restaurant was closed, so as we searched for another, Alma saw “Los Gauchos,” and her wanderlust eyes led her body inside. She spent a month in Argentina recently, and she has a hankering for red meat about twice a week, so soon following Alma’s impulses, we were all inside—Josh, his friend, Eric, Yitz, Alma, and I—eating some high quality red meat. Yitz didn’t think that Alma and I could eat our share when we ordered the “Steak Dinner for 3,” but he quickly found that not all females cower when faced with a juicy sirloin.

 

שתיים (Shtiim)

2 months rent is the amount of money I would have been outted if I had followed through in renting my apparent dream apartment in the perfect location, in the perfect part of town, for the perfect price. A long story short—I was almost completely scammed by what was likely a group of Nigerian Craigslist crooks. Bummer. I’m finding housing elsewhere…outside of the perfect part of town.

 

אחת (Achat)

1 Sign-Standing, Hula-Hooping Clown. I have no explanation for this, he just appeared at the corner of Agrippas and Ben-Yehuda in the trendy part of Jerusalem. I quite enjoyed it, and I want to share this with you.

 

 

A Note on Hebrew Language Learning and Humanities in General

My first month studying in Israel was spent in the building for overseas students. The last month and a half I have been inside the Humanities building on campus. Studying in Louisville, I always noted that there always seems to be a significant difference between those who are studying business and the sciences and those idealists studying in some discipline surrounding the humanities. I was reminded of this difference the day I began Modern Hebrew. I walked into the Humanities Building in the midst of some typical literature festival. Outside on the lawn, white tents, resembling the Bedouins in some modern-artistic license type way, were set up. People were lounging on pillows and rugs, and it was absolutely bizarre, but it was hardly different than the characters I have seen outside at UofL in the US. I mean, the French club would often bring some sofas into the quad and sit around drinking coffee and selling baked goods to support their already overfunded initiatives. If only they knew that some Humanities Departments in other parts of the world sell their baked goods and end up with modern Bedouin tents!

On the third day of class, the Humanities Department had another trick up their sleeves in the name of cultural appreciation. The Hebrew classes were invited to a Jewish-Israeli Shabbat sing-a-long. I have included a clip for your enjoyment. Only later did I see this sign in the hallway. The abstract art tells all. Was the study of humanities always aiming towards universal nonsense (yes, the emperor is NOT wearing any clothes), or is it just becoming so? I apologize for anything that may be interpreted as cynicism in trying to make this point.

*The picture in the opening paragraph was taken inside of Jerusalem's Archaelogical Park. The Western Wall (the part inside the park) is behind my friend Allen and me.